Prompt 36: 11x16 follow up
by FYeahAlexJo
Summary: Fic request Jo tells Alex later that night why she broke down over the baby


"Maybe it was a little insensitive," Alex shrugged, his arm resting on the couch behind Jo.

She smirked and tried to imitate him, "Oh shucks Jo, don't worry about all these orphans and dead people. It's just all in a day's work."

He smirked at her, "Okay, well when you say it like that…"

Jo nodded, "Uh huh, just admit that you were a douche today."

He rolled his eyes playfully, "I'm a douche every day. You should know that by now."

Jo laughed as she started to stand, "I'm gonna get a beer, you want one?"

Alex raised his eyebrows at her and shrugged, "Sure."

Jo walked into the kitchen and stretched. What a day it had been. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she had been so emotional about a case and she didn't like it. At all. She prided herself on being level-headed and strong. Not emotional and teary, at least not when she wasn't trying to get out of something, and definitely not to the point of asking asinine questions. She rolled her neck to stretch. She needed to pull herself together.

She quickly responded to a couple of text messages and grabbed the two beers out of the refrigerator before walking back to the living room, puzzled to see Alex missing. She glanced around in confusion before peeking out the door to see if he had stepped outside. When she still didn't see him, she called out hesitantly, "Alex?"

She thought she heard the shower turn off and scrunched her eyebrows in confusion as to why he would be taking a shower now.

She climbed the stairs and walked into their bathroom before stopping dead in her tracks, "What are you doing?"

Small candles were lit around the bathroom giving it a soft glow. She looked around in wonder as her smile grew wider. She glanced back at him and gave a teasing grin, "I kinda want to take a picture of this to use as the background on my phone."

She watched her boyfriend frown from his place in the large bathtub, bubbles surrounding his torso, "I knew this was a dumb idea."

Jo tilted her head, "It's only dumb if you don't invite me in."

Alex smirked, "Well that's a given."

Jo started to undress quickly, "Where did you get this stuff?"

He shrugged, "Meredith told me what to get but some of it's stupid. These rock things feel weird on my legs." Jo laughed as she clipped her hair up and started towards the tub. "Wait," Alex interjected before looking at her sheepishly, "Don't forget the beer."

Jo laughed and grabbed the two bottles off the floor to set on the small shelf beside the tub. As she stepped in, Alex held her hips to guide her and keep her from slipping. She smiled at the water's instant soothing effect on her and leaned back on his chest, "Whoever heard of drinking beer during a bath anyway."

Alex hugged her shoulders and mumbled in her ear, "Shut up. People are always drinking alcohol while in the tub in those chick flicks you watch."

Jo laughed, "Not beer, but I like it."

Alex began rubbing her shoulders, "I'm glad."

Jo smiled as her eyes drifted closed, "I must have really freaked you out today for you to do all of this."

Alex nodded slightly, "A little. It's been awhile since I've seen you act like that over a patient."

Jo nodded with a faraway look in her eyes, "Yeah."

Alex picked up on her tone and hugged her to his chest again, "What's up with you?"

"Nothing."

Alex sighed, "Look, you're acting weird. You've got people talking trying to figure it out. Bailey thinks it's this streak thing messing with your head about death, Torres thinks I knocked you up, Stephanie…."

Jo turned quickly to meet his eyes, "What?" When Alex just nodded, Jo smiled softly, "I'm not. When that day comes you'll be the first to know, Alex. I swear."

He grinned at her and kissed her cheek, "I figured as much. Edwards thinks you're losing it and are about to flake out…."

Jo rolled her eyes, "That's great." She relaxed somewhat into his embrace, "What do you think?"

Alex rested his chin on her shoulder, "I think it was a hard case, you're exhausted, and…"

She knitted her brows together at his uncertainty, "And?"

Alex sighed and reached down to hold her hands, "I think it may have hit too close to home for you."

Jo nodded and looked away, "It wasn't that at first. I mean…Alex, she was talking and happy and…I mean she was arguing with her mother about silly things with the baby and music and…she was just happy. Like everything she had ever wanted was right there in front of her and then a car crashes into her house and changes everything. What's the point?"

Alex lowered his voice soothingly, "Hey, we can't control everything. Stuff just happens. We can just make sure that we're as knowledgeable and as skilled as we can be and do the best we can. That's what your residency is for. The losses will just make the successes feel better and drive you to be better so next time, maybe you can save someone else."

Jo hummed in agreement, "Where were you with this speech earlier when I was freaking out?"

Alex chuckled and kissed her neck, "It's the same thing, I just used more words this time." Jo laughed and rested her hands on his knees as she leaned back further and lay her head on his shoulder. He looked at her still troubled face for a bit before timidly asking, "What else is going on?"

She opened her eyes questioningly, "What makes you think there is?"

"I know you too well."

Jo nodded slightly, "I feel for that kid."

Alex nodded in agreement, "Me too."

"No. I _feel_ for him. He's never gonna know her, Alex. How screwed up is that?"

"He has his dad and his grandma. I'm sure they can share stories and pictures and tell him about her. His life will go on and I'm sure he'll be loved and cared for," he offered softly.

"We just witnessed what very likely may be the single most defining moment of his entire life and it happened before he was even born. It's like he was on this path to happy and now it may be littered with possible abandonment issues, financial problems, emptiness, depression, evil step-mothers. I mean where does it end? And then people look at me crazy when I get upset about that?"

Alex frowned, "You thought about all of that? In a span of five seconds?"

Jo turned in his embrace to look at him, "Why wouldn't my mind go there? It's not a switch that I turn off."

"I know that," Alex quickly interjected.

Her body stiffened as her voice raised, "What if the firefighter that found me had said that? 'Sucks but it's the job?' My whole miserable existence cut down to five words?"

Alex's eyes widened at her tirade as his heart broke for her. His voice lowered in regret, "Jo…"

She shook her head quickly and turned back away from him, "No, just…don't. I'm fine now, I swear."

Alex rubbed her shoulders and offered sincerely, "I'm sorry."

Jo sat in silence for a bit before she reached up to hold his left hand, "No, no. It's mostly because of you that I'm not miserable anymore. I just…. I don't know. I don't know why it hit me so hard today."

Alex softly kissed her temple as his right arm snaked across her chest to hug her to him, "It's okay."

"How are we supposed to do it? Handle these cases that bring up so much personal baggage?"

Alex rested his cheek on hers and wrapped both of his arms around her, "If I ever figure it out I'll let you know."

Jo nodded slightly as they sat together in a stretched, comfortable silence, her thumb caressing his forearm as they simply enjoyed the quietness together, both lost in their own thoughts.


End file.
